And I am officially depressed. The rest of the family is exhausted. See exhibit A. (And see proof that I basically gave birth to a female version of her father.)
I will be happy to be home once I officially get rid of the vacation over grumbles.
Can't wait to see everyone. xoxo
Are you fucking kidding me West Virginia? Seriously this is how you welcome us? Take me home indeed Mr. Denver, take me home indeed.
Mom? Are you listening? You wouldn't BELIEVE the opportunity that Ella and I stumbled upon this morning. Seriously, we are talking investment gold here. Can't lose. Now I know that you and Dad wanted to invest in property that is like, on solid ground or something, but once you've seen this you won't be able to resist. And my brother thinks it's a great idea as well. Remember how fantastic you think all of his ideas are.
IT'S A HOUSEBOAT. IN KEY WEST. I KNOW - who knew they even existed!!! And a total steal at like, $70,000 or something. It was originally listed at $140,000 so we would already be saving 50%! You like to save money. And I think we could get them down even further. Now, I haven't woken G up yet, but I think if I could tell him that you and Dad were onboard I'd be pretty far ahead. So I am just going to go ahead and tell him that you are in. And Ryan too. And G's family thinks it's a great idea, not that I've spoken with them, but I am pretty confident.
Sigh. That's what I love about my family. We are all on the same page.
And it's a FSBO! Think of the real estate fees we would save. Man, that would bring the purchase price down to like $50,000. We would really be stupid to walk away. I'm just saying.
This was the view from our bed while we were in Key West.
Spectacular isn't it? Let me tell you what else was spectacular.
Momma juice - the morning kind. I now know why people drink coffee.
To tell you the truth, we don't really have too many pictures from Key West. We were too busy enjoying it. The weather was finally nice enough to call proper southern Florida weather so we spent a few days by the pool. And we spent a few days dressed in some of our finest fair weather attire.
And some more time enjoying the views that our campsite had to offer.
One of the really irritating habits of the campgrounds that we've encountered is their need to substitute a "K" where a "C" should be. Such as Kampgrounds, and the always omnipresent Klubhouses. (Hello redundancy! Please go away kitchsy spelling!)
But I would be a total idiot if I didn't admit that spending a fake Mardi Gras day (why do they do this in the South? Mardi Gras is on Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, but the entire South outside of New Orleans contends that Mardi Gras can be ANY day in February.) in Sunshine Key was a total blast.
It started at 7 am (sigh) with a pancake breakfast. There was maple syrup consumed.
There was also a parade! I will let the pictures speak for themselves.
(Yes, Marilyn is a man. A damned handsome one if you ask me.)
You aren't going to believe me, but before the parade started there was a crowning of the King and Queen of Mardi Gras. These people get INTO their fun. But wouldn't you, if your life was one long vacation?
Someone slept through the entire parade. How she slept through the tooting horns and yelling I will never know but THANK YOU GOD.
But then she woke up when a pigeon landed on the roof of the RV. WTF? And got BEADS!!! These have your name on them Felicia Ali xoxo.
The first thing that anyone says when we tell them we are on a road trip with a five month old, a dog and a cat is predictable. I think each and everyone of you thought it when we announced our plans.
But it really hasn't been that bad. Really. Sure, we are tired and sometimes grouchy, but it has been, and continues to be such an incredible adventure. Perhaps I am typing presumptiously for two here, and maybe G would admit otherwise to you behind a closed door and away from me, but I don't think that we would have done this any other way.
Sure, there are some drawbacks. The bed is smaller than a queen size and room quickly becomes a premium when you've got three people, a dog and a freezing cat all trying to get as much real estate as possible. The weather has been less than kind on many, many days, and does it really have to be so windy? The wind has not stopped blowing, blowing, blowing since we arrived in New Orleans. Cooking in such a tiny kitchen can be challenging, especially since the oven can be kind of tricky to light - just ask what's remaining of G's arm hair. Oh. I forgot - we aren't supposed to talk about that.
The shower/bathrooms at all of the campgrounds have been decent, but not without their own special challenges. (I am looking at you San Carlos RV RESORT - coded keypads on your facilities - do you really think this is necessary??? Do that many people really drive in off San Carlos Boulevard to use your smelly toilets? I came thisclose to not getting that door open one morning at 3 am - reconsider this security measure. The retired folks have a much reduced threshold to bladder control. There have to have been accidents.)
But our travels have been filled with so many wonderful moments. The people - the people that we've met have been wonderful. Now you all know that I am not normally a people person per say, but everyone we've talked to (and argued politics with) has been wonderful. Especially Larry Fox and Gus in Alabama - one of our highlights - drop us an update and let us know where you guys are! We can't wait to see you this summer!
Now I must confess something. One of my guilty pleasures on this trip has been telling Americans that we Canadians get a year off PAID to stay home with the baby. Now while that is true for me, or for G for half of said year if I go back to work, I don't always (never) clarify that particular point if someone (everyone) understands that to mean it is for both of us. The initial reaction is always priceless. Total silence, usually with mouths hanging open, eyes wildly studying both of us as though I'd just said we were from Jupiter. Then, immediately, it goes in one of two directions. And the comments are almost always completely gender divided. I'll let you figure it out for yourselves.
It's either THAT'S WONDERFUL! We could really use that here - my daughter/niece/cousin/etc had to go back to work six weeks after having twins. OR it's the standard my brother's friend/in-law/sister/cousin/etc has a friend/in-law/sister/cousin/etc who (always) lives in some remote part of Canada and don't you just know it they pay almost 60% in taxes to the government.
Wow. How much did you brag your RV Motorcoach was again? $650,000? And you bought it where? In Florida? Isn't the state sales tax here 11%? And it costs you how much to gas that bad boy up? But you begrudge universal medical insurance to ensure that everyone in your country gets the care they need? Really?
But I digress. I was supposed to start listing out all of the reasons that we love this roadtrip. Let me start with the opportunity it's allowed me to get people riled up. Including myself.
We've seen a few new states close up and personal. Hello Mississippi coastline - you are not the poor country backroad cousin I expected. You're like Vegas, but with a coastline!
The weather has been better than at home. Most of the time.
Bugs has been able to start to explore her love of water, outside of the bathtub and in February.
The animals are happy, even if they do drive us crazy sometimes.
If we don't like a vacation spot, or if the weather is bad, we can be somewhere else in two hours.
The seafood has been to die for. Period.
The chance for our little family to get to know each other really, really, really well. We could have done this at home, true, but the chance to do it in 300 or so square feet has been awesome. Really. You should try it sometime.
When get home, our little house is going to feel positively PALATIAL in comparision.
And G is weighing in with the actual driving. He has actually enjoyed it thus far. Remember to remind him of this point when we get home. Something tells me that the long drive north home isn't going to be such a cakewalk.
But for now? I will take this vacation one grateful day at a time. And yes, that is Danielle Steele. I'M ON VACATION PEOPLE, VACATION.
Now we can say that we've driven through the Florida Everglades. And seen live alligators, or is it crocodiles??? in the wild. What did you do this month?
We left Fort Myers Beach and headed a little further south and a bit east towards Chokoloskee, five miles south of Everglades City. It looked like a cute place on the map, population 404. We had called ahead and booked ourselves a site for three nights in Chokoloskee's only campground. This was the first time that we had booked in advance and it turned out to be the best mistake we ever made.
You see, the campground turned out to be a little...quaint. No, perhaps rustic would be a better fit. Okay just use whatever word you would to describe a rundown trailer park in the middle of nowhere.
After we arrived we walked around for about an hour once we had set up, as is our custom. To tell you the truth, neither of us were convinced at first glance that this was the place for us to stay for one night, nevermind for three. But, that customary walk did us a world of good. While Chokoloskee proper is quite rundown, the people are friendly, the island dogs even nicer and we got good vibes all around. Whew. And, as it turned out, there was tons to see.
Like "Mamie's Motel". No doubt a frenzy of travel activity, at least at one point. And now a ripe investment opportunity just for the picking. You know that there was discussion of buying this waterfront business, however one-sided.
But seriously, there was lots to see. Take the Smallwood Museum for instance.
Built and founded in 1906 on Chokoloskee Island by Ted "C" Smallwood, an original pioneer in Collier County. This building served as a store, post office and Indian Trading Post and Ted remained postmaster until his retirement in 1941. His early business was with early settlers to the area and the Seminole Indians. Since road access didn't come to the area until 1955, all of the arriving, trading and business was done via the water by canoe or boat. The Seminole Indians would arrive day or night to trade, often after long canoe rides. Ted and his family lived in the store, thus ensuring that someone was always there to receive visitors.
This is one of the most fascinating places I have ever been. You could look for days and always find something new to catch your eye.
In a time where the only work a woman could find was in the home, Ted's daughter Thelma took over the running of the store and succeeded him as postmaster. She continued to run the store as a functioning business until 1982. Hello Thelma!
This island was inhabited by Indians for more than 1500 years before the Europeans moved in. And even after it was settled, it became reknowned as a place for 'loners'; those who wanted to flee civilization and live on their own terms. Many were marijiana dealers fleeing from justice. Just think marijiana (am I spelling that right?) dealers in like, 1920...
I could have stayed here forever. What was at first a three day DEATH sentence quickly became too short of a stay once we dug in and got to know our surroundings. One of the men that we spoke to referred to Chokoloskee as 'the place that civilization has left behind'. Now, how freaking cool is that? I know that I am normally not all about the cheesy descriptions, but that statement fit Chokoloskee perfectly.
We met Danny. He and the Boo got along famously.
Danny is fourteen and almost completely blind. He likes to wear a sweater in the mornings to help take the chill off. Danny rolls with Rick Magers - a self published author who was signing and selling his books in Smallwood's. I bought a copy of one of his novels "The McKannahs; A Western Novel. A tough Irish family settle in 19th century California. You just know that it is going to be amazing.
Can you see why we liked it here so much?
We walked and walked and walked in Fort Myers Beach. It was awesome. Well. G, the Boo and I walked. Someone else rolled.
Or screamed until she was hoisted and strapped.
Whatevs as far as she is concerned.
Oh in ambulance chasing news I can't forget to tell you about the excitement!
Look! A firetruck!
Some poor fellow had a heart attack while drinking beer on a patio. According to our waitress, it happens all the time in the land of retirement.
What are you clucking about? I tried to take the pictures DISCREETLY. Although G did make me delete the shot I got as they loaded the man onto the ambulance. But it's not like I was going to post that one or anything. I am not completely insensitive.
This trip was a winner in terms of incidents. There was the chemical spill in Siesta Key - although it looked more like a gas leak to me. (Watch G roll his eyes here.) My dad was BUMMED about missing that. Entire blocks were cordoned off for hours and we had to divert down to the beach to get around it.
Then there were two accidents involving cars and motorhomes that we happened upon seconds after they happened. No one was seriously hurt, but it was all still very exciting. And then the heart attack.
(Apparently, according to G, I have to tone down the gleeful element in my exclaims of "Is something happening?" whenever I heard sirens. He says it is very disconcerting to hear a joyful tone when listening to the wailing sirens. Whatever. So here is a picture of the view from our campsite at Fort Myers Beach for those of you who prefer that sort of thing.)
Hello Fort Myers Beach!
We ended up spending a week here we liked it so much, after only planning on spending the night. San Carlos RV Resort was great and a total steal at only $55 a night. INCLUDING TAX.
The pool and hot tub were amazing and we used them every day. Bugs loved swimming in her frog with her Dad. And just swimming free style.
(Baby-tending compentency disclaimer here: her suit is 50 SPF UV rated, her frog is 50 SPF UV rated AND she was wearing a little 50 SPF UV rated baby sunscreen. We've been in Florida for almost four weeks now and she has not had one sunburn anywhere on her body. Sigh. In the spirit of full disclosure - god I am so responsible now - it's only really been sunny here like, four days out of four weeks, so that probably has more to do with her lack of sunburn than our parental competency, but I will seize any pathetic victory I can.)
Back to the fun! We attended a fiercely competitive shuffleboard competition early one morning. Sorry - there were no photos taken. Bugs and I attended solo so that G could sleep in, and I had heard a rumour that there was going to be both free coffee and donuts. Which proved to be quite true, so I was really happy not to be saddled with the camera. I needed both hands. We gossiped on the sidelines and let me tell you this - shuffleboard is an extremely compelling game if it's your only option at 8 am on a random Monday morning. Especially if there are free donuts and coffee. Beats sleeping anytime.
God, my dreams used to be so much BIGGER than sleeping un-interrupted for more than three hours at a time. Thank you Bugs, for making my new dream so boring, yet so unattainable.
Our campsite was great and was surrounded by mangroves.
Finally! A campsite with some bloody grass on it. We could finally let Bugs stretch things out on her blanket that her Aunt Kate had made for her. It was heaven, albeit a short lived heaven. You see, when I daydreamt about this trip, there was always a patch of soft grass with a blanket that the baby stretched out on and slept peacefully for hours, clad only in her diaper. All the while, I sat idly by, devouring thick novel after thick novel. Maybe my daydream should have included me wearing a freaking petticoat.
Because what I didn't realize was one; I am a complete effing lunatic for thinking that the baby would sleep for hours ANYWHERE wearing ANYTHING. Two; that patches of grass are resplendent in campgrounds all over the US - think gravel and pavement people, especially south of Homestead. And three, that the year we decided to do this trip would be the year that Florida is experiencing its coldest winter in 100 years. We were lucky to even be able to sit outside some days, nevermind with our nether regions in the open wind.
But I am not complaining. We are having the time of our life on the road.
